Are These Your Values, or Someone Else’s “Shoulds”?

Values exercises can seem simple; scan a list of words and circle what matters. The difficult part comes later. Is the word you chose genuinely meaningful to you, or does it describe the person you learned you were supposed to be?

A “should” often depends on performance or approval.

A should-driven direction may sound like “I must always be productive,” “I have to keep everyone happy,” or “I should want the path that looks successful.” The behaviour may earn approval or reduce guilt in the short term, yet feel disconnected from the life you want to build or what’s important to you.

A chosen value usually has a different quality to it, and while it can still ask something difficult of you, the effort feels connected to a way of being that truly matters. You may value contribution and decide to work hard. You may also value care and decide to rest before resentment takes over. Values help you respond to context.

Look for the difference between pressure and willingness.

Try saying the direction or behaviour in two ways.

1. “I have to do this, or it means something bad about me.”

2. “This may be uncomfortable, and I am willing to do it because it expresses something I care about.”

The second statement does not make the action easier, but it changes the relationship between the action and your reasons for choosing to do it.

Use behaviour as evidence.

Values are not simply labels you possess. They show up in patterns of action. If you choose “curiosity”, ask yourself what curiosity would look like for you, such as in a tense conversations. If you choose “care”, ask how can would show up when you’re running low on energy. If you choose “integrity”, ask what you would do when no one is watching.

This behavioural lens keeps values from becoming flattering descriptions. It also prevents a missed action from becoming an identify crisis. You are not proving that you are a caring person forever, you are choosing the next caring action available for the current context.

A useful values test. Would this direction still matter if no one praised me, if I could not do it perfectly, and if it looked different from what other people expected?

Notice where values collide.

Many hard decisions are not a fight between a value and a bad choice. They are a tension between two things that matter. For example, security and growth, honesty and kindness, belonging and autonomy, contribution and rest.

When values collide, asking “which one is the right value?” may not be helpful. Instead trying asking, “What does this situation need from me right now?” and “What potential cost am I willing to carry for the direction I choose?” A chosen action can honour one value while still acknowledging others.

Try the “mine, inherited or still deciding” exercise.

1. Write 5 rules you hear in your mind when you face an important decision. Begin each with “I should…”

2. For each rule, note where you may have learned it. Keep the tone curious rather than blaming.

3. Mark each rule as mine, inherited but chosen, inherited and no longer workable, or still deciding.

4. Rewrite any chosen rules into positive values. For example, changing “I should never disappoint anyone” to “I want to be honest and caring in difficult conversations.

5. Choose one behaviour that would express the revised value this week.

You don’t have to reject your entire history to make a choice, you can appreciate where a rule came from and still decide whether it belongs in your life right now.

Chosen values make room for a more flexible life.

The aim is not to discover a secret, permanent list that removes every decision. Values clarification helps you becomes more deliberate.; less governed by automatic pressure, better able to choose a values direction and adjust your behaviour as circumstances change.

When the value feels like yours and values-aligned actions fit your real life, values stop being an abstract exercise and becomes a way to make the next decision with greater honesty.

If you are ready to sort through the “shoulds” and identify directions you can genuinely practice, our Values Lab offers a guided 3 lesson course. You will connect an ABA (Applied Behaviour Analysis) and ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Training) lens to create a Life Shift Plan.

Feeling Stuck? Start With One Values-Aligned Step

Feeling stuck can look like doing nothing, but it is often full of activity. You may be replaying options, predicting problems, researching one more answer or waiting for a level of certainty that never arrives. While the mind is busy, the next step remains unclear. One response is to demand a big plan, which can add pressure. A more workable starting point is smaller. Choose a direction that matters, then take one action that can teach you something.

Clarity often follows action.

We tend to imagine that confident action comes after complete clarity. In real life, many decisions become clearer through contact with experience. A conversation shows you what you need. A short trial reveals what fits. Ten minutes of effort tells you more than another hour of prediction. This does not mean to act impulsively. It means designing a step small enough to be safe and useful, then letting the result provide new information.

Name the stuck loop without judging yourself.

Start by describing what happens, not what is wrong with you. “I am lazy” is a verdict. “I open the application, imagine making the wrong choice, and close it”, is a pattern you can work with.

Applied Behaviour Analysis (ABA) pays attention to observable behaviour and the context around it. That lens can make “stuck” look more specific. What situation tends to trigger the loop? What do you do next? What short-term relief does that response provide? What longer-term cost follows?

A neutral description creates options. Describe the moment as a sequence: situation, thought or feeling, action, short-term result, longer-term result. You are look for a workable pattern, not a character flaw.

Let the feeling come along for the step.

A values-aligned action does not require the disappearance of fear, uncertainty or frustration. The Acceptance and Commitment Training (ACT) lens is not about winning an argument with every difficult though, it is about making room for internal experiences while choosing behaviour that serves what matters.

You might say, “I notice the thought that I will get this wrong.” That wording creates a little space between you and the thought. Then ask, “if I did not need certainty first, what small action would allow me move in toward my choice.”

Use the next-step filter.

A useful next step is:

• Values-linked: name the quality or direction the action helps serve.

• Observable: another person could tell whether it happened.

• Small: it can fit inside the time and energy you realistically have.

• Reversible or informative: it does not need to settle your entire future.

• Scheduled: it has a clear cue or time for completion, rather than living on a someday list.

“Fix my career” is not a next step. “Message one person in a role I’m curious about and ask for a 20-minute conversation” is. “Be healthier” is not a next step. “Put my walking shoes beside the door and walk for 10 minutes after lunch on Wednesday” is.

Make willingness smaller than your ambition.

People often design actions for their best day. However, a plan is more useful when it can survive an ordinary one. If your first ‘next step’ feels too heavy, shrink the duration, frequency or complexity while keeping the connection to your chosen value.

A five-minute step is not meaningless when it helps you practice returning to the action. Repetition builds a pattern; intensity is not the only path to change.

Try the 10-minute reset.

1. Write one sentence that describes the stuck loop without a label or judgement.

2. Name one quality or value you want to demonstrate in this are of life.

3. List three possible actions or behaviours that would take 15 minutes or less.

4. Choose the action that is most useful, not the one you think would look most impressive.

5. Decide when and where it will happen.

6. Afterward, note what you learned, without grading yourself.

The goal is movement with meaning.

Getting unstuck is not a single dramatic moment. It is often a series of returns; noticing the loops, reconnecting with a chosen value and taking the next workable step. You do not need to see the whole path. You need enough light for the next step.

Our Values Lab can help you move from overthinking to a workable next step. Using an ACT and ABA lens to clarify values and build a Life Shift Plan you can apply in real life.

Values vs. Goals: Why Direction Matters More Than Motivation

A goal can be useful and still leave you feeling lost. You may know the outcome you want; change careers, improve a relationship, create a steadier routine, but have no clear way to decide what to do on an ordinary Tuesday when motivation is low.

That is where values can help. A goal is an outcome you can complete. A value is a chosen quality you want to express through your actions. Th goal might be “have dinner with my family three nights this week".” The value underneath it might be connection, presence or care.

Goals give you a destination. Values help you choose your direction while you are on the way.

A completed goal ends; a value can keep guiding you.

Imagine that you value learning. Completing a course can be a goal, but learning does not end when you’re finished. You can continue to express that value by asking thoughtful questions, trying a new skill, reading for ten minutes or letting yourself be a beginner at something new.

This distinction matters because life rarely follows a clean plan. A goal may be delayed by time, money, health, caregiving or a change in circumstances. If the goal is your only source of direction, a delay can feel like a failure. A value gives you more than one way to move forward.

Quick Distinction. Goal = a result you can check off. Value = a quality of action you can practice again and again.

Motivation isn’t as important when action has reason.

Waiting to feel ready often keeps meaningful action on hold. Values do not guarantee that a step will feel easy. They help answer a different question: “is this the kind of step I want to take, even if discomfort comes along?”

Acceptance and Commitment Training/Therapy (ACT) describes psychological flexibility as the ability to stay in contact with the present and persist or change behaviour in service of chosen values. In practical terms, this means your thoughts and feelings can be present without making every decision for you.

You do not need to defeat doubt before sending the email, beginning the conversation or protecting one hour for something important. You can notice the doubt and still choose a small action that fits the direction you care about.

Use three questions to move from a value to behaviour.

1. What quality do I want to bring? Choose a way of being, such as curious, honest, patient, courageous, connected or dependable.

2. Where would that quality matter most this week? Name one real setting; a meeting, dinner, a difficult appointment or any routine.

3. What would someone see me do? Turn the value into an observable action that can fit your actual life.

For example, “I value connection” is meaning but broad. “I will put my phone away and ask one open-ended question at dinner on Thursday” is a behaviour you can try. The action is not proof that you are a perfect, connected person. But it is one instance of practising the value you chose.

Choose values, not virtue labels.

It is easy to turn values work into another test of whether you are good enough. A long list of admirable words can create pressure rather than clarity. Instead of selecting what sounds impressive, look for what makes a moment feel more alive, meaningful or worth the effort.

You can also hold values lightly. Their expression may change across time. Care might look like giving support in one situation and setting a boundary in another. Courage might mean speaking in one moment and listening in the next. Context matters.

Try this 10-minute values check-in.

1. Pick one area of life that has your attention right now.

2. Write three qualities you would like to bring to that area.

3. Circle the one that feels chosen or most important, not merely expected.

4. Name one action that would express it in the next seven days.

5. Make the action smaller until you are genuinely willing to try it.

The point is not to create a perfect plan, but to build a usable connection between what matters and what you do next.

Direction is available before certainty.

Goals organize your effort and values make that effort personally meaningful. Used together, they turn a vague wish for change into a direction you can practice today.

Want a guided process for clarifying what matters and translating into action? Explore our Values Lab, a three lesson self-directed course that brings together an ACT and ABA lens and helps you create a practical Life Shift Plan.

How to Create Consistent Behaviour Supports Across Settings

A behaviour support strategy can work beautifully in one setting and seem to disappear completely in another.

A child communicates appropriately at school but struggles to use the same skill at home. A person successfully follows a routine in a residential program but becomes distressed when the same transition happens in the community. A strategy is introduced by one staff member, but every person supporting the individual seems to implement it slightly differently.

These situations are common.

And they don’t necessarily mean that the person is being “inconsistent”. Skills are influenced by context.

People learn in particular environments, with particular people, cues, routines, expectations and consequences. A skill that is strong in one situation may not automatically generalize to another.

This is why creating consistency across settings is so important. However, consistency does not mean making every environment identical.

The goal is to create enough commonality that the person knows what to expect and can successfully use their skills across different people, places and situations.

What does consistency actually mean?

When teams hear “consistency”, they may imagine everyone following an identical script. That isn’t usually realistic. Home, school, hospital, residential services and community settings have different demands and resources.

Instead, consistency should focus on the core elements of supports. For example, everyone might agree to:

• use the same definition of a target behaviour

• recognize the same communication response

• provide the same type of prompt

• respond to an appropriate request in a predictable way

• reinforce the same replacement skill

• follow the same safety procedures

• use similar language for important routines

• collect the same key information

• communicate meaningful changes to the rest of the team

The details can be adapted to the setting while the underlying approach remains aligned. Consistency is about shared principles.

Start with a shared understanding of the behaviour.

Different people can describe the same behaviour very differently. One person might say: “He was refusing”. Another might say: “She was having a meltdown”. Another might say: “They were being non-compliant”. These descriptions may reflect very different interpretations of what happened.

Before developing consistent support, the team needs a shared understanding of what behaviour is actually being discussed.

An observable definition can help. For example, “Leaves the designated area without permission and moves more than three metres away”. Now everyone has a clearer picture of what they are tracking.

This reduces confusion and makes it easier to determine whether a strategy is actually producing change.

Identify the skill you want to build.

Behaviour support shouldn’t only answer, “what do we want the person to be able to do instead?” For example, if someone frequently leaves an activity when it becomes difficult, the replacement skill might involve:

• requesting hlep

• requesting a break

• communicating “finished”

• using a visual support

• tolerating a short delay

• asking for clarification

The replacement behaviour needs to be practical and meaningful. If everyone is responding consistently to the same replacement skill, the individual has more opportunities to learn that the skill works across different environments.

Agree on the core response.

One of the most important components of consistency is agreeing on what adults will do. Imagine a person appropriately asks for a break. At school, the request results in a brief break. At home, the request is ignored. In another setting, the person is tole they shouldn’t need a break.

The person is receiving different information about the usefulness of the communication skill. This doesn’t mean every setting needs to provide an identical break. It means the team should understand the purpose of the skill and agree on an appropriate response.

For example, “when the individual appropriately requests a break, acknowledge the request and follow the agreed break procedure”. That provides a common framework while still allowing the procedure to fit the environment.

Create a simple support plan.

A behaviour support plan should be usable by the people who actually implement it. If staff or caregivers need to read a 30-page document every time something happens, implementation may become difficult. A practical support plan should make key information easy to find.

Depending on the situation, this might include:

• What to look for: what situation, events, or patterns may indicate that additional support is needed?

• What to do proactively: what assistance should be provided if the person doesn’t use the skill independently?

• What skill are we teaching? what should the individual do instead?

• How should we prompt? what assistance should be provided if the person doesn’t use the skill independently?

• How should we reinforce? what happens when the person uses the desired skill?

• How should we respond to challenging behaviour? what is the agreed response, including any safety procedures?

• What should be documented? what information needs to be tracked so the team can evaluate progress?

The goals is to make the plan clear enough to use in real life.

Focus on antecedents, not just consequences.

Consistency often breaks down because teams focus almost entirely on what happens after behaviour occurs. Bur proactive support is equally important.

Ask: What can we change before the behaviour occurs? This might include:

• providing advance notice of transitions

• adjusting task difficulty

• offering choices

• making expectations clearer

• using visual supports

• teaching communication responses

• changing the environment

• increasing predictability

• providing appropriate breaks

• reducing unnecessary barriers

For example, if transitions are consistently difficult, the solution may not simply be deciding what adults should do after someone refuses to transition. The team might instead ask; how can we make the transition more predictable and teach the person a useful way to communicate during it? That is a much more proactive approach.

Use the same language for important skills.

Language can become surprisingly inconsistent across settings. One person says “ask for help”, another says “use your words”, another says “don’t give up”, and another says “tell me what you need”. These may all be well-intentioned, but inconsistent language can make learning more difficult.

For important skills, choose simple, shared language. For example, “help please”. Then everyone knows what response they are teaching and reinforcing.

This is particularly useful when supporting communication, transitions, independence and safety-related skills.

Make reinforcement consistent, but identical.

Reinforcement is another area where teams can unintentionally work against one another. If an individual uses a newly taught skill successfully in one setting but receives little response for it elsewhere, the skill may not generalize. Teams can agree on:

• what behaviour or skill is being reinforced

• what forms of reinforcement are appropriate

• how quickly reinforcement should occur

• how adults should acknowledge the skill

• how reinforcement will gradually be adjusted as independence develops

However, reinforcement doesn’t have to look exactly the same everywhere. A teacher might use specific praise. A teacher might provide access to a preferred activity. A community support worker might acknowledge successful independence. The important questions is whether each response supports the same learning goal.

Teach skills in more than one setting.

A common mistake is assuming that once someone learns a skill in one environment, they automatically know how to use it everywhere. Generalization often requires deliberate planning.

If someone learns to request help at school, consider opportunities to practice requesting help:

• at home

• during community activities

• during appointments

• during recreation

• with different people

• with different materials

• during different types of tasks

The goal isn’t simply, “can they do it?”, the more useful question is, “can they use it when they actually need it?”. That is where generalization becomes meaningful.

Identify what must stay the same, and what can change.

This is one of the most useful exercises a team can complete. Create two categories; Must stay consistent. For example:

• target skill

• communication response

• core prompting approach

• reinforcement principle

• safety response

• data definition

• key terminology

Can be adapted. For example:

• materials

• schedule

• physical environment

• exact wording

• timing

• available activities

• who provides the support

This prevents the team from confusing consistency with rigidity. A person shouldn’t have to experience the exact same environment everywhere in order to be successful. Instead, we want them to learn the underlying skill well enough to adapt.

Make sure everyone knows their role.

In larger systems, inconsistency can occur simply because nobody is quite sure who is responsible for what. For example:

• who teaches the replacement skill?

• who collects data?

• who updates the team?

• who reviews progress?

• who communicates changes to caregiver?

• who trains new staff?

• who updates the support plan?

Clear responsibilities reduce gaps. This is particularly important when multiple professionals or organizations are involved. A behaviour support plan is only as effective as its implementation.

Build feedback loops between settings.

Consistency shouldn’t mean that one setting tells everyone else what do to. It should be collaborative. For example, a school may discover that a particular visual support is highly effective. A family may discover that the same support works differently at home. A community team may identify another environmental factor that hasn’t been considered. These observations are valuable.

Regular communication allows teams to ask:

• what’s working?

• what’s not working?

• what has changed?

• are we seeing the same pattern across environments?

• is the person using the skill more independently?

• does the strategy need to be adjusted?

This turns behaviour support into an ongoing learning process rather than a static document.

Don’t confuse consistency with everyone doing the same thing.

This distinction deserves emphasis. Consistency does not mean “everyone must respond exactly the same way every single time.” Real life doesn’t work that way. Instead, think about consistent contingencies and consistent teaching, while allowing reasonable flexibility.

The individual should encounter predictable expectations around the skills they are learning. At the same time, they should eventually be able to navigate differences between people and environments. That is part of independence.

If someone can only demonstrate a skill when every adults uses the exact same words, the exact same materials and the exact same routine, the skill may not be generalized. The long-term goal is not dependence on perfect environmental consistency. The long-term goal is flexibility and independence.

Review whether the support is actually working

Consistency isn’t valuable simply because everyone is following the same plan. The plan still needs to produce meaningful outcomes. Review data and ask:

• is the challenging behaviour changing?

• is the replacement skill increasing?

• is independence increasing?

• are prompts decreasing?

• is the skill appearing in additional settings?

• is the individual using the skill with different people?

• is the strategy improving participation or quality of life?

If not, consistency alone won’t solve the problem. The team may need to reassess the behaviour, the function, the skill being taught, the environment, or the intervention itself.

Doing the same thing consistently isn’t useful if the thing you’re doing isn’t effective.

Build capacity, don’t build dependence.

The strongest behaviour supports don’t create systems that require professionals to be present forever. They help the people around the individual become more confident and capable. This might mean:

• training caregivers

• coaching educators

• supporting residential staff

• creating practical implementation tools

• teaching teams how to recognize patterns

• developing simple data systems

• building staff confidence with prompting and reinforcement

• helping teams troubleshoot when strategies aren’t working

Over time, the goal is for the individual to need less prompting, the teams to need less intensive support, and the skill to become part of everyday life.

This is where effective efficiency matters. The objective isn’t to add more layers of intervention, it is to identify what works, teach it well, generalize it across environments, and gradually build independence.

A Simple Consistency Checklist

Before implementing a behaviour support plan across multiple settings, ask:

1. Are we defining the behaviour the same way?

2. Do we agree on the skill we want to build?

3. Does everyone know what to do proactively?

4. Do we agree on the core replacement skill?

5. Are we using compatible prompting strategies?

6. Are we reinforcing the same important skills?

7. Do we have a shared response to to challenging behaviour?

8. Are we collecting useful, manageable data?

9. Are we deliberately practicing skills across settings?

10. Do we have a process for communicating changes?

11. Are we reviewing whether the plan is actually working?

12. Is the plan increasing independence rather than creating dependence?

If you can answer these questions, you have a strong foundation for cross-setting consistency.

Consistency should make life easier, not smaller.

When behaviour support is coordinated well, the person doesn’t have to learn completely different rules for every environment. Instead, they begin to experience common expectations, predictable responses and repeated opportunities to use meaningful skills. But the ultimate goal goes beyond consistency. We want skills that travel. Skills that work at home, at school, in the community. Skills that work with different people and continue to work when circumstances change. That is what meaningful generalization looks like.

The best behaviour support doesn’t simply make environments more consistent. It helps people become more capable within the environments that make up their real lives.

When to Consider Behaviour Support in Toronto: A Parent & Caregiver Guide

When should you consider behaviour support?

It’s a question many parents, caregivers, educators, and support teams ask, but there isn’t always an obvious answer.

You might wonder, “is this just a phase?”, “do we really need professional support?”, or “is this behaviour serious enough?” The truth is that you don’t need to wait for a behaviour to become severe before seeking help.

Behaviour support can be useful whenever behaviour, skill development, or environmental barriers are getting in the way of someone’s ability to learn, communicate, participate, build relationships, or live more independently.

Sometimes early support can help prevent a small challenge from becoming a much larger one.

What is behaviour support?

Behaviour support is a structured approach to understanding behaviour and developing strategies that help an individual achieve meaningful goals. Good behaviour support considers:

• what the person is doing

• what happens before and after the behaviour

• why the behaviour may be occurring

• what skills the person currently has

• what skills may be missing

• what the environment is communicating or requiring

• what the person and their support want to accomplish

• what strategies are realistic for the people implementing them

The goal is to develop practical supports that improve outcomes for the individuals and the people around them.

Depending on the situation, behaviour support may involve assessment, skill development, caregiver coaching, environmental modifications, behaviour support planning, data collection, staff training, and/or collaboration with other professionals.

You don’t have to wait for a crisis.

One of the biggest misconceptions about behaviour support is that it is only necessary when behaviour becomes extreme.

In reality, seeking support earlier can sometimes be beneficial. For example, perhaps your child has started refusing schoolwork. At first, the behaviour may be relatively minor. But if avoiding the work consistently results in the work being removed, the pattern may becomes increasingly strengthened.

Or perhaps a child is beginning to struggle with transitions. Rather than waiting until transitions routinely results in significant distress, a team can examine the situation early and identify ways to make transitions more predictable and teach effective coping or communication skills.

Early intervention isn’t about assuming that every behaviour will become a serious problem, but about recognizing opportunities to support success before difficulties become more entrenched.

Signs that behaviour support may be helpful.

There isn’t a checklist that determines whether someone “qualifies” for behaviour support. However, there are some common signs that professional consultation may be useful.

1. A behaviour is interfering with everyday life. Consider seeking support when behaviour is regularly interfering with:

   • school

   • work

   • family routines

   • sleep routines

   • community participation

   • relationships

   • healthcare

   • recreation

   • learning

   • independence

     The important question is not simply how dramatic the behaviour itself looks, but what impact it is having? A behaviour that appears relatively minor may have a major impact if it happens frequently or prevents someone from participating in important activities.

2. You’ve tried several strategies and nothing seems to stick. Maybe you’ve tried:

   • rewards

   • consequences

   • visual schedules

   • reminders

   • taking things away

   • offering choices

   • ignoring the behaviour

   • changing routines

     Some strategies may help temporarily, while others don’t seem to make a difference at all. If you’re repeatedly trying strategies without understanding why the behaviour is happening, it may be time to step back and assess the pattern. You may need a better understanding of what is maintaining the behaviour.

3. You’re seeing the same behaviour in multiple settings. Maybe the behaviour happens:

   • at home

   • at school

   • in the community

   • with different caregivers

   • during different activities

     This may suggest that there are patterns worth investigating. It could also highlight the importance of consistency and generalization; where a strategy that may work well in one environment may not work somewhere else because the triggers, expectations, people, or consequences are different. Behaviour support can help identify which variables are shared across settings and which as unique.

4. A skill isn’t generalizing. Imagine a child learns a new communication skill during therapy, and they demonstrate it well with their therapist. But at home, they don’t use it. Or maybe they can complete a routine independently at school but need significant assistance at home. Learning a skill is only part of the process. The skill also needs to become useful across the environments in which the person actually lives. Behaviour support can help identify opportunities to practice and reinforce skills across people, settings, materials, and situations.

5. A new skill is needed. Behaviour support isn’t only about behaviour reduction. It can also help people develop skills that make challenging behaviour less likely in the first place. For example, instead of simply trying to reduce refusal, we might teach someone to ask for help. Instead of repeatedly prompting someone through a routine, we might develop strategies that increase independence.

6. Communication is difficult. Sometimes behaviour becomes challenging when someone doesn’t have an effective way to communicate what they need. They may not be able to easily say; “I don’t understand”, “I need a break”, “Something hurts”, “Can I have more time?”. If the person doesn’t have an effective communication response, another behaviour may become their most reliable way of getting their needs met. Communication support may require collaboration with a speech-language pathologist or other qualified professional.

7. Transitions are becoming difficult. Transitions are a common source of behavioural challenges. This could include:

   • leaving the house

   • going to school

   • ending screen time

   • moving between activities

   • changing classrooms

   • starting a new program

   • moving into a new home

   • transitioning from hospital to community living

     Transitions introduce change, which can mean new expectations, new people, new routines, and less predictability. Behaviour support can help teams identify what makes a transition difficult and develop proactive strategies. Sometimes it means changing the environment. Sometimes it means providing more predictability or communication. Often, it’s a combination.

8. Independence is becoming a priority. Another reason to seek behaviour support is simply, “We want them to be more independent.” Support may focus on:

   • dressing

   • hygiene

   • meal preparation

   • cleaning

   • following routines

   • managing belongings

   • using transportation

   • community safety

   • workplace skills

   • social skills

   • daily schedules

   • self-advocacy

     Behavioural strategies can help break complex skills into achievable steps, identify appropriate prompts, reinforce progress, and gradually fade unnecessary assistance. The goal is not perpetual support, but to build capacity and independence whenever possible.

9. A behaviour has suddenly changed. A sudden or significant change in behaviour likely deserves attention. Before assuming that the behaviour is purely behavioural, consider whether there could be relevant changes in:

   • physical health

   • sleep

   • medication

   • environment

   • routines

   • demands

   • relationships

   • living arrangements

   • school or work

     Behaviour support can help identify behavioural patterns, but behavioural consultation should not replace appropriate medical, mental health, or other professional assessment when those concerns may be relevant. Sometimes the most important first step is figuring out what has changed.

10. Safety or quality of life is being affected. Professional support may be particularly important when behaviour creates significant risks to the individual or others, or substantially interferes with quality of life. Examples might include behaviours that:

    • create safety concerns

    • prevent access to necessary healthcare

    • significantly restrict community participation

    • interfere with education

    • disrupt important daily routines

    • create substantial stress for caregivers or support teams

      In situations involving immediate danger, appropriate emergency or crisis services should be accessed rather than waiting for a routine behaviour consultation. For ongoing concerns, individualized behavioural assessment and interdisciplinary collaboration may help identify safer and more sustainable approaches.

Behaviour support isn’t just about the individual.

While it’s tempting to focus entirely on the person displaying the behaviour; behaviour happens within an environment. Consider the types of demands being placed, how instructions are delivered, whether expectations are clear. Consider whether the person has meaningful choices, whether the environment is predictable, if there are enough opportunities to communicate, if others respond consistently. Sometimes changing the environment can be just as important as teaching a new skill.

What does a behaviour consultant actually do?

A behaviour consultant can help you move from, “We don’t know what to do anymore.” to “We understand the pattern and have a plan.”. Depending on the situation, consultation may include:

• Assessment: Gathering information about the behaviour, skills, environment, and relevant patterns.

• Functional assessment: Examining relationships between behaviour and environmental events to develop hypotheses about why behaviour may be occurring.

• Skill development: Identifying and teaching meaningful alternative skills.

• Behaviour support planning: Developing practical strategies for preventing, responding to, and reducing behaviours that interfere with quality of life.

• Parent or caregiver coaching: Helping the people who support the individual use strategies confidently within everyday routines.

• Staff training: Building the capacity of educators, support workers, healthcare teams, or other professionals.

• Data and progress monitoring: Determining whether strategies are actually producing meaningful change,

• Collaboration: Working with other professionals when multiple areas of expertise are needed.

You don’t need to have all the answers before asking for help.

Sometimes individuals delay seeking support because they aren’t sure how to explain what’s happening. That’s okay; bring your observations, concerns, priorities, and knowledge of the individual. A behaviour professional can help organize that information and determine what questions need to be answered.

What if the behaviour isn’t “bad enough”?

If something is interfering with learning, independence, communication, family life, relationships, or participation, it is reasonable to explore whether additional support could help. Behaviour support doesn’t have to mean intensive therapy.

Sometimes a focused consultation around a single concern can prove useful. For example, “how can we make mornings easier?”, “how can we help this skill generalize from school to home?”, “why does this behaviour happen in this particular situation?”. These are all potential reasons to seek professional guidance.

The goal isn’t to change a person into someone else.

Effective behaviour support should be grounded in meaningful outcomes. The goal isn’t to eliminate every behaviour someone else finds inconvenient, or making anyone conform to an arbitrary standard of “normal”.

The goal is to support skills and behaviours that improve the person’s ability to communicate, participate, learn, connect with others, make choices, and live as independently as possible. That means asking:

• what matters to this person?

• what would improve their quality of life?

• what skills would increase their independence?

• what environmental chances would make participation easier?

• what does the family or support team need to be successful?

Behaviour support can be a starting point, not a last resort.

You don’t have to wait for behaviour to become a crisis, you can seek support when you’re noticing a pattern, when a skill isn’t developing as expected, when independence has stalled, when transitions are becoming difficult, when a behaviour is interfering with participation, when a team isn’t sure what to try next, or simply when you want to understand what’s happening more clearly.

The earlier we understand a problem, the more opportunities we may have to build skills, change environments, and prevent challenges from becoming more entrenched.

Create the conditions for people to succeed.

Wondering whether behaviour support could help?

If you’re noticing a recurring behaviour, difficulty learning a new skills, challenges with independence, a difficult transitions, or a pattern that’s interfering with everyday life, a focused behaviour consultation can help you understand what’s happening and identify practical next steps. Support may include:

• behaviour assessment

• functional behaviour assessment

• behaviour support planning

• skill development

• parent and caregiver coaching

• staff training

• transition planning

• generalization and maintenance

• interdisciplinary consultation

Build skills, increase independence, support participation, and create environments where success is more likely. Whether you’re a parent, caregiver, school team, healthcare professional, or community organizations, you don’t need to figure it all out on your own.

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Understanding Challenging Behaviour: Causes, Functions, and Support Strategies

When someone engages in behaviour that is disruptive, distressing, or difficult to understand, our first instinct is often to focus on the behaviour itself. “How do we stop it?”

But what if we started with a different question? “What is this behaviour telling us?” Behaviour doesn’t happen in a vacuum, out of the blue. It occurs within an environment, in response to circumstances, and often serves a purpose for the person engaging in it.

Now, looking beyond the behaviour doesn’t’ mean ignoring it. It means becoming curious about what is happening underneath the behaviour. This shift can change the way parents, educators, caregivers, healthcare providers, and support teams respond to behaviours that challenge.

What do we mean by “challenging behaviour”?

“Challenging behaviour” is often used to describe behaviour that creates significant difficulty for the individual themselves, or the people around them.

Challenging behaviour may include:

• physical or verbal aggression

• property destruction

• elopement

• repeated disruptive behaviour

• severe emotional outbursts or tantrums

• self-injurious behaviour

• behaviours that interfere with learning, relationships, healthcare, or community participation

The label itself doesn’t tell us why a behaviour is occurring. Two people can engage i the same behaviour for completely different reasons. For example, for one person, leaving a room might be a way of escaping an overwhelming situation, while for another, it might reliably result in access to a preferred activity or person. And yet for someone else, it might be connected to communication difficulties, sensory factors, uncertainty or a lack of an effective way to indicate a need. Despite the behaviour looking similar, the underlying variables may be very different.

Behaviour is communication, but not always in the way we think

You may have heard the phrase, “all behaviour is communication”. Behaviour can communicate needs, preferences, discomfort, distress. It can access escape, attention, or something desirable, or any number of other things. Sometimes a person has clear alternative ways to communicate, but sometimes they don’t. Imagine if someone didn’t have an effective way to say any of the following:

• “This is too difficult.”

• “I don’t understand.”

• “I need a break.”

• “I don’t want to do this right now.”

• “Something hurts.”

• “I need your attention.”

Individuals will use available behaviours to effectively communicate as needed. If we only focus on suppressing the behaviour without teaching an effective alternative, we may remove an important form of communication without addressing the underlying need.

Ask what happens before the behaviour

One of the most useful ways to understand behaviour to examine what happens before it occurs. This events are called antecedents. For example, consider a child who frequently becomes distressed when asked to complete homework. Instead of immediately concluding “they don’t want to do their work”, we could ask:

• is the work too difficult?

• are the instruction unclear?

• is there a skill deficit?

• does the child know how and who to ask for help?

• is the task too long?

• is the timing appropriate?

• what happens when they refuse?

• does refusal reliably result in the task being removed?

The goal is to understand the conditions under which the behaviour is more likely to occur.

Look at what happens after the behaviour

The events that follow behaviour matter too. These are called consequences. For example, a child engages in disruptive behaviour and receives attention from an adult, or a person leaves the environment, removing the demand to engage.

If a consequence consistently makes a behaviour more effective or valuable for the person, the behaviour may become more likely in the future when experiencing similar circumstances. This does not mean deliberate manipulation, but that behaviour is influenced by its consequences. This is a fundamental principle of learning.

Understanding function

In behaviour analysis, the function of behaviour refers to the effect or outcome that maintains the behaviour. Typically functions are hypothesized based on assessments, are:

• Attention: the behaviour may result in interactions, conversation, reassurance, or attention from someone else..

• Escape or avoidance: the behaviour may help someone delay, avoid, or end something they find difficult, uncomfortable, confusing or otherwise aversive.

• Access: the behaviour may result in access to an activity, object, person, food, preferred experience, or other desired outcome.

• Automatic or sensory: behaviour maintained by consequences of the behaviour itself, rather than a response from another individual.

The same behaviour can have different functions

This is one of the most important concepts for understanding challenging behaviour. Imagine two people who both refuse a task. Person A, refuses because the task is extremely difficult and they don’t know how to ask for help. Person B refuses because consistently refusing results in task removal. The observable behaviour is the same, but the appropriate intervention is likely to be different. For Person A, we might teach the missing skill, modify the task, change the instruction modality. For Person B, we might teach others in the environment to respond differently to refusal.

Look for the skill deficit

Sometimes challenging behaviour occurs because the person hasn’t yet learned an alternative skill. Ask, “what would we like this person to do instead?” Perhaps, learning to ask for help, or to request a break, to say ‘no", or ask for more time.

Reducing challenging behaviour often involves increasing useful alternative behaviours. The replacement skill, however needs to be meaning, easy and practical. If it is harder than the challenging behaviour, the person is unlikely to use it.

Make the alternative behaviour effective

Imagine that a child has learned to throw objects when they want a break. We teach them to ask for a break, but then when they use the new communication, a break doesn’t happen for another ten minutes. Meanwhile, throwing something always results in immediate escape from the activity. That challenging behaviour may continue to be more effective. Teaching an alternative isn’t simply about telling someone what the replacement behaviour, the new skill has to work.

Don’t overlook the environment

Sometimes the most important intervention isn’t changing the person, but the environment. Consider things like noise, lighting, crowds, unpredictability, long waits, lack of choice, frequent transitions or inconsistent expectations. Environmental modifications can sometimes prevent behaviour from escalating before the person needs to even use the replacement skill. For example, offering choices may increase a person’s sense of control, or providing advance notice about a transition may reduce uncertainty. These are proactive strategies because they attempt to change the condition before challenging behaviour has a chance to occur.

Consider the person’s context

Behaviour doesn’t happen independently of the person’s overall circumstances. Someone may behave differently when they are tired, ill, hungry, in pain or anxious. Or when dealing with an unfamiliar environment, or adjusting to a new routine. A responsible assessment considers relevant contextual factors rather than assuming the behaviour exists in isolation.

For significant, or sudden changes in behaviour, appropriate medical or other professional assessment may be needed.

Avoiding assuming intent

Instead of saying, “they’re being manipulative”, consider asking “what is this behaviour accomplishing for them?” Instead of saying, “they know exactly what they’re doing”, consider asking “what patterns do we see across situations?” While boundaries or expectations are needed, by avoiding assuming intention, we separate what we observe from the story we tell ourselves about why it happened. This helps to create space for better problem-solving.

Behaviour support should be proactive

When behaviour becomes challenging, it is easy to develop a plan that focuses on what to do after behaviour happens, but effective behaviour support should also ask, what can we change before the behaviour occurs?

Proactive strategies can include:

• teaching communication skills

• adjusting task difficulty

• providing choices

• establishing predictable routines

• using visual supports

• teaching coping or replacement skills

• providing appropriate reinforcement

• increasing opportunities for successful participation

• preparing someone for transitions

• changing environmental triggers

The goal is to create more opportunities for the person to be successful.

What about consequences?

Consequences still matter. If a behaviour is consistently followed by something that reinforces it, that pattern may contribute to the behaviour continuing. However, responding to behaviour isn’t simply about finding a punishment. A good behaviour support plan should consider what the person needs to learn and what changes can make appropriate behaviours more effective.

In many situations, the most useful consequence is simply reinforcing the alternative behaviour we want to see more often. The objective is to strengthen useful behaviours rather than simply making challenging behaviour less likely.

Data can help us see what we might otherwise miss

When behaviour is stressful, our perception of the situation can influenced. Data can provide another perspective. For example, instead of saying, “this happens all the time”, we might discover “it happens mostly during transitions”.

Data can help identify patterns, measure progress, and determine whether an intervention is actually working. It doesn’t have to mean complicated spreadsheets, depending on the situation useful information can include: frequency, duration, intensity, setting, time etc. The right measurement system depends on the behaviour and the questions you are trying to answer.

The goal isn’t simply “no behaviour”

A reduction in challenging behaviour can be important, but it shouldn’t be the only measure of success. Ask what becomes possible when the behaviour decreases, for example, can the person communicate more effectively? participate in more activities? develop relationships? complete daily routines? become more independent? These outcomes provide a richer picture of meaningful behaviour change.

Need help understanding a behaviour that challenges?

When a behaviour is happening repeatedly, it can be difficult to know where to start. You may have already tried other strategies, however a behaviour consultation with Life Shift ABA, can help you step back and look at the bigger picture.

Together, we can explore:

• what happens before and after the behaviour

• patterns across people, settings, and routines

• potential functions of behaviour

• skills that may be missing

• environmental factors that may be contributing

• practical replacement behaviours

• proactive strategies to support success

• ways to measure whether strategies are working

Our goal is to understand what is happening and build a more effective path forward.

If you’re a parent, caregiver, school, healthcare provider, or community organization looking for individualized behavioural support, a focused behaviour consultation or functional behaviour assessment may be a useful place to start.

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ABA Therapy in Toronto: What to Expect

If you’re a parent considering ABA therapy for your child, you may have a lot of questions. What exactly happens during ABA? Will therapy happen at home, in a clinic, or online? What goals will be targeted? Will I be involved? And perhaps most importantly, what should good ABA therapy actually look like?

For families in Toronto and across Ontario, there are several ways ABA-informed services may be delivered. the Ontario Autism Program (OAP) currently identifies applied behaviour analysis as one of its core clinical services for children and youth on the autism spectrum. Services can be provided in a variety of settings, including at home, virtually, and in the community, depending on the service and family’s needs.

While every child’s experience will be different, understanding the general process can make the decision to seek support feel much less overwhelming.

What is ABA Therapy?

Applied Behaviour Analysis, or ABA is a scientific discipline based on principles of learning and behaviour. In practical terms, ABA can be used to help people develop meaningful skills, increase independence, participate more successfully in everyday activities, and reduce behaviours that interfere with learning or functioning. Examples of skills areas can include communication, social interaction, play, daily living, adaptability, and other areas impacting participation.

ABA isn’t one specific technique, but a framework for understanding behaviour and designing individualized teaching and support strategies. Two individuals receiving ABA may have completely different goals, teaching strategies, session schedules, and levels of support.

What happens before therapy begins?

Before direct intervention begins, a qualified professional should take time to understand the child and caregivers. This may involve reviewing existing assessments and records, talking with parents and other caregivers, observing the child, conducting assessments, and identifying current strengths and areas where additional support may be needed. The goal isn’t simply to create a list of behaviours to change.

A comprehensive assessment should help answer questions such as:

• what does the child already do independently?

• what skills are emerging?

• what communication system works best for them?

• what activities do they enjoy?

• what environments are easier or harder?

• what behaviours interfere with participation?

• what skills would make the biggest different in everyday life?

• what are the priorities for the family?

What goals might ABA therapy address?

ABA goals should be meaningful to the individual. For one child, communication may be the highest priority. For another, the focus might be independence with daily routines. Another child may need support with transitions, social interactions, learning readiness, or community participation.

Some examples might include:

• Communication - requesting help, communicating wants and needs, initiating communication, using an augmentative or alternative communication system, communicating discomfort or a need for a break

• Independence - dressing, eating, hygiene routines, following a schedule, completing household routines

• Social and play skills - taking turns, participating in groups, responding to peers

• Learning skills - following instructions, completing tasks, staying engaged, increasing independence

• Behaviour support - to address behaviours that interfere significantly with learning, safety, relationships, or participation

A good behaviour support approach asks what the behaviour may be accomplishing and what skills or environmental changes could provide a more effective alternative.

What does an ABA session actually look like?

There isn’t one universal ABA session. Depending on the child’s goals and service model, a session might involve structured teaching, play-based learning, communication opportunities, daily living routines, community activities, naturalistic teaching, or a combination of approaches.

For example, a communication goal might be practiced during play. A dressing goal might be practiced as part of the morning routine. A social goal might be practiced with a sibling or peer. A community safety goal might be practiced during an appropriate community outing. This is important because skills learned in one environment don’t automatically appear everywhere else. ABA specifically emphasizes the maintenance and generalizations of skills to create meaningful participation across different settings.

Will ABA happen at home?

It can.

Home-based services can provide opportunities to work on skills where they naturally occur, for example independence (getting dressed), communication and self-help (mealtimes), social interactions (playing with siblings), following routines (cleaning up) or transitions (getting ready to leave). Home-based interventions can also help caregivers learn how to support skills between sessions.

But home isn’t the only possible setting. Depending on the service provider and treatment plan, services may also occur virtually, in community environments, or in other appropriate settings.

Will parents be involved?

Ideally, parents and caregivers aren’t simply spectators. Family involvement is an important part of effective skill development.

Parents may learn how to:

• create opportunities for communication

• reinforce emerging skills

• use prompting appropriately

• encourage independence

• support generalization

• respond consistently to behaviour

• practice skills during everyday routines

• recognize progress

At Life Shift ABA, service goals are planned in collaboration with clients and their families, with an emphasis on empowering families to develop the skills and knowledge to address behaviour needs as they arise. This is particularly important as therapy sessions are only a small part of a child’s life.

What does reinforcement mean in ABA?

You will probably hear the work reinforcement frequently. Reinforcement means that a consequence following a behaviour increases the likelihood that the behaviour will happen again. For example, a child asks for help and receives help. If asking for help becomes more likely in the future, the response from the environment (receiving help) has functioned as reinforcement. Reinforcement isn’t simply giving children treats. it can involve; attention, access to an activity, help, choice, a break, social interaction, access to materials or natural outcomes. What is reinforcing varies from person to person.

Effective ABA should consider what is actually meaningful to the individual rather than assuming that the same reward will work for everyone.

What is prompting?

A prompt is additional assistance provided to help someone complete a skill successfully. For example, a child learning to put on a coat might initially need a verbal instruction, visual cue, demonstration, or other form of assistance. As a child becomes more capable, the goal is generally to reduce unnecessary assistance. This process is called prompt fading. The idea is that instead of a child becoming dependent on someone constantly telling them what to do, they increase their independence.

What about data?

Data collection is another part of behaviour analysis that families may encounter. It can sound intimidating, but data simply means systematically recording information about behaviour or skill performance.

Depending on the goal, a team might track:

• whether a skill was completed independently

• how much prompting was required

• frequency of a behaviour

• duration of a behaviour

• accuracy

• percentage of opportunities

• successful communication attempts

Why collect data? Because memory can be unreliable. A parent might feel “nothing is changing”, but data might show that a child went from needing full assistance on a routine to completing several steps independently. Alternatively, data may reveal that an intervention isn’t producing the expected improvement. Both findings are useful.

How long does ABA therapy take?

There isn’t one appropriate number of hours for every child. The amount and intensity of support should be connected to the individual’s goals, needs, circumstances, available resources, and treatment plan. More therapy isn’t automatically better therapy. The question should be “what level and type of support is appropriate for this individual?”, rather than “how many hours can we fit into the week?”. Progress should be reviewed over time, and if a strategy isn’t working, the team should be willing to ask why and make changes.

What is generalization?

Imagine a child learns to request help during an ABA session. That is valuable; but what happens when they need help at school? at home? at the playground? in the community?

Generalization means helping skills transfer across people, environments, materials, and situations. This is one reason why family and team involvement matters. The ultimate goal isn’t to produce skill that only appear during therapy, it’s to help the individual use meaningful skills in the places where they actually live, learn, and participate.

What should families look for in an ABA provider?

Choosing a provider is an important decision. Consider asking the following:

• How are goals selected? Are goals based on your child’s strengths, needs, priorities, and quality of life?

• How will progress be measured? Ask what information will be collected and how you’ll be able to understand your child’s progress.

• How are parents involved? You should understand what role you’ll have in the treatment process.

• How is behaviour assessed? If behaviour reduction is a goal, ask how the team determines why the behaviour is occurring.

• How is generalization addressed? Ask how skills will move from therapy into home, school, or community settings.

• How are goals updated? Your child’s need can change. Treatment should be responsive rather than remaining unchanged simply because it was written months ago.

• Who is supervising the service? In Ontario, ABA services should be delivered and/or supervised by a behaviour analyst registered and in good standing with the College of Psychologists and Behaviour Analysts of Ontario.

What should good ABA feel like?

ABA should not be about making a child appear “less autistic” or forcing them to behaviour like everyone else. The focus should be on meaningful outcomes.

Can the child communicate more effectively? Can they participate more independently? Can they access activities they enjoy? Are the skills developed useful? Can they communicate when they help? Can they participate safely and meaningfully in their community? These are much more meaningful questions than whether a child simply looks compliant during a therapy session.

ABA should fit into a child’s life, not replace it.

Children are children before they are therapy clients. Therapy is one part of a child’s support system. The strongest programs consider how intervention fits into the child’s actual life.

What happens if your child receives other services?

Many children receive support from multiple professionals. Depending on individual needs, this might include speech-language pathology, occupational therapy, mental health professionals, educators, physicians, or other providers.

At Life Shift ABA, we encourage collaboration amongst providers when children are receiving multiple services, with the goal of aligning goals, creating a coordinated experience, and avoiding unnecessary duplication. Good collaboration can make it easier for families to understand what everyone is working toward.

What should you expect as a parent?

You should expect to be treated as an important member of the team. You should expect opportunities to ask questions. You should understand the goals being targeted and why they matter. You should be able to discuss your child’s progress. And you should be able to raise concerns if something doesn’t feel right. You don’t have to understand every technical term in behaviour analysis to participating meaningfully in your child’s care. A good provider should be able to explain the “why” behind recommendations in language that makes sense to you.

The goal is meaningful change.

ABA therapy can look very different from one child to another. There is no single “ABA child”, no single treatment schedule, and no single set of goals.

For some child, therapy may focus heavily on communication. For another, independence may be the priority. For another, the focus may be supporting participation in school or community activities. For another, the priority may be understanding and reducing behaviours that significantly interfere with daily life while teaching effective alternatives.

The common thread should be individualized, meaningful, measurable support. If you'‘re considering ABA therapy in Toronto, don’t be afraid to ask questions, and most importantly, ask “how will this help my child participate more fully in their own life?”. That is where meaningful ABA should begin.

Considering ABA Therapy in Toronto?

Choosing behavioural support for your child is a big decision. You deserve to understand not only what services are available, but why particular goals and strategies are being recommended.

At Life Shift ABA, our approach focuses on meaningful outcomes such as:

• building communication and independence

• teaching practical everyday skills

• supporting participation at home, school, and in the community

• understanding behaviours that challenge

• developing effective replacement skills

• supporting parents and caregivers

• promoting generalization and maintenance

• collaborating with other professionals involved in your child’s care

If you’re considering ABA therapy in Toronto or would like to discuss whether behavioural consultation or individualized ABA support is appropriate for your child.

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What is Behaviour Consultation and Who Can Benefit?

When people hear the term behaviour consultation, they may picture a therapist working directly with a child during a structured session. But behaviour consultation can look very different.

A behaviour consultant may work with parents, teachers, school support teams, healthcare professionals, organizations or community agencies to understand a specific concern and develop practical strategies that can be implemented in everyday environments. The focus isn’t only on behaviour, but on understanding what is happening, why it may be happening, what the person needs, and what changes to the environment or support approach could make meaningful outcomes more likely.

In Ontario, Applied Behaviour Analysis (ABA) is described as a scientific discipline focused on meaningful changes such as increasing independence, developing new skills, and reducing challenges that interfere with learning and functioning. Behaviour consultation applies this way of thinking to real-world problems.

What does behaviour consultation mean in practice?

At its simplest, behaviour consultation is a collaborative problem-solving process. A consultant brings expertise in behaviour, learning, assessment, and intervention. The person, family, or team brings expertise about the individual and their environment. Together, they identify a meaningful concern, gather information, develop recommendations, and determine how those recommendations can realistically be implemented. For example, a parent might say, “my chid becomes extremely upset whenever we have to leave the house.” A behaviour consultation wouldn’t necessarily begin with “how do we stop the behaviour?”, instead the consultant might explore some of the following:

• what happens before the difficulty begins?

• what does the child do exactly?

• what happens immediately afterward?

• when is it most and least likely to occur?

• is the child communicating something with this behaviour?

• are there predictable environmental factors?

• what skills might be missing?

• what is gained or avoided through the behaviour?

• what could be changed proactively?

• what alternative or replacement skills could be taught?

This approach helps move the conversation from “how do we stop this?” toward “how do we understand this and create a better way forward?”

Behaviour consultation isn’t only for “challenging behaviour”

One of the biggest misconceptions about behaviour consultation is that you need to have a serious behaviour problem before seeking support. You don’t.

Behaviour consultation can be useful when the goal is to build skills, increase independence, improve participation, or make an existing support plan more effective. For example, consultation might address:

• communication

• daily living skills

• independence

• social skills

• emotional regulation

• routines and transitions

• community participation

• school participation

• workplace skills

• caregiver strategies

• behaviour support planning

• skill generalization

• reinforcement strategies

• environmental modifications

• staff training

• transition planning

Who can benefit from behaviour consultation?

Parents and caregivers

Parents are often the people who know an individual best. They also have to navigate the situations that happen every day: mornings, meals, homework, bedtime, appointments, community outings, sibling interactions, and transitions.

Consultation can help parents understand what may be contributing to a behaviour and identify strategies that fit naturally into family routines.

For example, “my child won’t follow the morning routine.” Instead of simply adding more consequences, consultation might examine whether:

• the routine has too many steps.

• expectations are unclear.

• visual or verbal prompts are needed.

• the routine contains tasks the child hasn’t learned.

• reinforcement is occurring in unexpected ways.

• the child is attempting to escape a difficult task.

• the transition itself is a problem.

• the environment is too distracting or demanding at that time of day.

The result is a plan based on the individual situation rather than a generic parenting strategy.

Children and youth who need support developing new skills

Behaviour consultation can be useful when a child has a skill they are working toward but isn’t yet demonstrating consistently. This could include:

• asking for help

• completing self-care routines

• following a schedule or routine

• communicating needs and wants

• participating in group activities

• waiting or taking turns

• increasing independence

• learning community safety skills

The goal is to break larger skills into achievable steps and identify the environmental supports that make learning more successful.

Individuals who display behaviours that challenge

Behaviour consultation can support individuals who behaviour creates barriers to learning, participation, relationships, or quality of life.

This might include behaviours such as aggression, property destruction, disruptive behaviours, or other behaviours that significantly interfere with daily life. This emphasis should not be only reduction alone. A behaviour analytic approach asks why the behaviour is occurring and what meaningful alternative skills can be developed.

For example, if someone frequently leaves a situation when demands become difficult, an intervention might include teaching an appropriate way to ask for a break, while also examining whether the environment or task can be changed.

Schools and educators

Teachers and school teams support students with widely varying learning and behavioural needs. Sometimes a student needs a highly individualized approach. other times, the entire classroom environment may benefit from adjustments.

Behaviour consultation can help school teams think through questions such as:

• what is making this routine difficult?

• how can instructions be made clearer?

• how can appropriate behaviour be reinforced?

• what skills does the student need to participate successfully?

• how can staff respond consistently?

• how can a skill learned in one context be generalized?

• how can supports be gradually faded?

School-based consultation can involve collaboration with educators, families, and other professionals.

Community and developmental service organizations

Adults with developmental disabilities may also benefit from behavioural consultation when they are experiencing barriers to independence, community participation, employment, relationships, or daily living.

Consultation can support organizations with:

• behaviour support plans

• staff training

• environmental assessment

• skill-building programs

• data collection systems

• reinforcement strategies

• transition planning

• community participation

• increasing independence

• responding consistently to behaviours that challenge

The goal is to build the capacity of the people who support the individual, by helping the team develop the knowledge, tools, and systems needed to provide effective support themselves.

Behaviour consultation can support transitions

Transitions are another area where consultation can be valuable. Major life transitions can involve changes in people, routines, environments, expectations, and available supports. For example, from school to an adult day program, or vocational or employment programming, hospital to community living, family home to supported living or childhood services to adult services.

A transition plan can identify the skills and environmental supports an individual will need in a new setting. Rather than waiting until the transition happens and responding to problems afterward, consultation can help teams prepare in advance.

What happens during a behaviour consultation?

Consultation will vary depending on the concern, setting and scope of the consultation. However, it commonly involves several components.

Step 1: identify the concern

The first step is understanding what the client, family, or organization actually wants to accomplish. A concern such as “they have challenging behaviour” is a starting point. A consultant may help translate that concern into something more specific and measurable. For example, “we want Sam to independently request a break when a task becomes difficult.”

Step 2: gather information

The consultant may use interviews, record or file review, observation, data collection and other appropriate assessment methods. The purpose of which is to understand patterns and potential contributing factors.

Step 3: develop hypotheses and recommendations

Behaviour analysis considers the relationship between behaviour and the environment. Ontario professional standards emphasize systematic assessment of factors influencing behaviour, including antecedents, consequences, setting events, and other relevant variables. Recommendations should be connected to the information gathered rather than being generic advice.

Step 4: build a practical plan

A good recommendation has to work in the real world. A strategy that looks excellent on paper but requires three hours of preparation very morning isn’t sustainable for most families. Consultation should consider; can the people responsible for implementing this realistically do it?”

Step 5: support implementation and evaluate

Depending on the service agreement, consultation may include coaching, training, progress monitoring, data review, and adjustments to recommendations, to determine whether the strategy is actually helping.

Behaviour consultation builds capacity.

One of the most valuable aspects of consultation is that it can help the people around an individual become more confident and capable supporters. A parent may learn how to identify opportunities for skill development. A teacher may learn how to modify antecedents and reinforce participation. A support worker may learn how to implement a behaviour support plan consistently. A leadership team may learn how to create systems that make desired workplace behaviours easier to maintain. The consultant’s expertise becomes a resource that can be transferred to the people who are actually present in the individual’s everyday life; making support more sustainable.

Do you need a diagnosis to benefit?

No. Behaviour consultation can be relevant to many people and organizations because behaviour is part of learning, communication, independence, participation, and everyday functioning.

However, the appropriate service depends on the individual’s needs, goals, circumstances, and the professional’s scope of practice.

For individuals with autism or other developmental disabilities, consultation may be one component of a broader interdisciplinary support plan.

Other situations may call for collaboration with physicians, psychiatrists, speech-language pathologists, occupational therapists, educators, social workers, or other professionals. Good consultation recognizes when another professiona'l’s expertise is needed.

Looking for behavioural expertise for your family, team, or organization?

Behaviour consultation can be a practical starting point when you’re facing a specific behavioural concern, developing new skills, navigating a transition, or looking for more effective ways to support an individual.

Consultation may be appropriate for:

• Families looking for practical strategies at home.

• Schools and healthcare teams looking for individualized behavioural recommendations and interdisciplinary collaboration.

• Community and developmental service organizations looking to strengthen staff capacity, behaviour support planning, skill development, or transition planning.

• Individuals and caregivers working toward better demonstrating important values through behaviour.

The goal is to understand behaviour, build skills, improve environments, and create supports that can work in the real world.

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How Can Parents Reinforce New Skills at Home?

When your child is learning a new skill, it can be tempting to think that the hard work only happens during therapy, school or structured teaching sessions.

But what happens between those sessions matters too.

Children learn through repetition, practice, feedback, and meaningful experiences. Home provides many opportunities to practice skills in the environments where those skills actually need to be used.

The good news? You don’t need to turn your home into a classroom or spend hours running formal teaching sessions. Instead, parents can use everyday moments; getting dressed, eating breakfast, playing, cleaning up, going to the grocery store etc., as opportunities to help new skills become useful, familiar, and independent.

One of the most important tools for doing this is reinforcement.

What does reinforcement actually mean?

In behaviour analysis, reinforcement has a very specific meaning. A behaviour is reinforced when something happens following a behaviour that makes that behaviour more likely to happen again in the future. In simpler terms:

You child does something —> something meaningful happens —> your child is more likely to do it again.

For example, imagine your child is learning to ask for help instead of immediately becoming frustrated. They try saying “help me”, you respond quickly “Absolutely I’ll help!” The important part isn’t simply providing praise, but that you provide help, what matters most in the moment to your child.

That experience can make asking for help more worthwhile than struggling without communicating.

Start with one skill

Choose one skill at a time. For example, asking for help, waiting for a turn, following a routine, greeting someone. The more clearly you define the skill, the easier it is to notice and reinforce. “Be independent” is difficult to reinforce because it is too broad, however “put your plate in the sink after eating” is something you can actually observe.

Find opportunities in everyday life

You don’t necessarily need to create additional practice time. Instead, look at your family’s existing routines.

Getting dressed

If your child is learning independence with dressing, you might start by encouraging them to complete one step independently. Maybe they put their shirt on themselves. That’s an opportunity to reinforce the behaviour immediately: “You put your shirt on by yourself!”. You might then continue with the routine.

Play

Play can provide opportunities for practicing communication, turn-taking, flexibility, requesting, and social interactions. If your child initiates an interaction, respond. If they appropriately request a turn, give them a turn. If they’re practicing asking for help, create opportunities where asking for help is useful.

The goal isn’t perfection. The goal is practice.

Reinforce the behaviour you want to see

Parents are often understandably focused on correcting behaviours that are difficult. But learning also requires noticing the behaviours we want more of. If your child usually needs several reminders to begin getting ready, notice when they start independently. If they’re learning to communicate when something is difficult, notice when they attempt to communicate. If they’re learning to wait, notice successful waiting.

A useful question is: “what did my do that I want to see more often?” then ask: “how can I make that behaviour worthwhile?”. Sometimes the answer is simple attention. Sometimes it’s access to an activity. Sometimes it’s help. Sometimes it’s a break. And sometimes the most powerful reinforcer is simply allowing your child to continue doing something they are already enjoying.

Make praise specific

General praise such as “good job!” can be positive, but specific feedback can make it clearer which behaviour you’re recognizing. Try “you put your shoes away without me asking”, or “you waited nicely while your sister finished her turn”. This helps connect the feedback to the specific behaviour.

Reinforce effort and progress

New skills are rarely learned perfectly from the beginning. If your child is learning to complete a complicated task, they may initially need prompts or assistance. That doesn’t mean they aren’t learning.

Look for approximations and progress. For example, perhaps your child previously needed you to complete an entire routine for them. Now they can complete two steps independently. That is meaningful progress. As skills develop, the amount of assistance can gradually decrease. This is sometimes called prompt fading - systematically reducing the support a person needs so that the skills becomes more independent.

Practice skills with different people and in different places

One of the biggest reasons home practice matters is generalization - a skill learned in one situation begins to occur in other similar situations.

A child might learn to ask their therapist for a break, but not yet ask a parent. They might independently clean up at school, but not in the living room. That doesn’t necessarily mean the child has “forgotten” the skill. The circumstances happen to be different.

Parenting strategies and children’s skills don’t always automatically generalize from one setting to another. Deliberately practicing across settings can therefore be important. Once a skill is starting to become reliable, consider practicing it with different caregivers, rooms, materials, at different times of days, with different routines and community settings. For example, if your child is learning to request help, the goal might eventually be for them to request help from a parent at home, a teacher at school and trusted adults in the community.

Make reinforcement immediate when teaching a new skill

When a child is first learning something, timing matters. If your child completes the behaviour and the meaningful consequence happens much later, it may be harder for them to understand the connection. When possible, provide reinforcement immediately after the behaviour you’re trying to strengthen. As the skill becomes stronger, reinforcement can usually become more natural and less formal.

How to avoid creating dependence on rewards

A common concern parents have is, “if I reinforce this, will my child always need a reward?”. Not necessarily. A well-designed behaviour plan should consider how reinforcement will change as the skill becomes established. Initially, a child may need frequent reinforcement. As the behaviour becomes more reliable, reinforcement can become more natural. For example, a child learning to put their belongings away might initially receive enthusiastic attention from a parent. Eventually, the natural benefit becomes part of the routine. Their belongings are easier to find, the environment is organized, and they know what to do without being reminded. The goal is not create dependence on goals, but to help new behaviour become useful enough that it continues to occur.

What if a skill isn’t working at home?

This is where parents sometimes blame themselves. “They’re doing it in therapy, why won’t they do it here?”. Before assuming your child is refusing or “being difficult”, consider whether the situation is different.

Ask:

• is the instruction different?

• is the environment different?

• is the task harder?

• is the reinforcer still meaningful?

• does my child understand what is expected?

• am I providing too much or too little assistance?

• are there distractions?

• is my child tired, hungry, overwhelmed, or otherwise unavailable for learning?

• does the skill need to be practiced in smaller steps?

Sometimes the solution isn’t more repetition, but a teaching plan that need to be adjusted. This is an important reason for collaboration between parents and the professionals supporting your child.

You don’t need to turn your home into a therapy centre

Perhaps the most important message is this. You are your child’s parent first. Supporting skill developing at home shouldn’t mean spending every evening collecting data, running teaching trials, or worrying that you’re doing something wrong. Some of the best opportunities happen naturally. Your child asks for help while making breakfast. They practice waiting during a board game. They put their backpack away when they get home. They try something independently that you previously had to do for them. These moments count.

Parent involvement can be an important part of helping skills generalize beyond formal teaching environments, and behavioural skills training has demonstrated that parents can learn to implement strategies during naturally occurring routines. The goal is to become more intentional about noticing the opportunities that are already there.

A simple formula to remember when you’re supporting a new skill at home:

Notice —> Prompt if needed —> Let your child try —> Reinforce —> Gradually fade support —> Practice somewhere new

When parent coaching can help

Sometimes the challenges isn’t knowing what skill you want your child to learn. It’s figuring out how to make that skill work in real life. You might be wondering; why does my child use this skill at school but not at home? How much help should I give? Am I reinforcing the right behaviour? What should I do when my child stops using a skill? How can I encourage independence without creating frustration? How do I move a skill from structured teaching into everyday routines?

These are the kinds of questions that can benefit from individualized behaviour consultation and parent coaching. Parent coaching can help you identify practical opportunities within your family’s existing routines, understand the function of behaviour, develop effective reinforcement strategies, and support the generalization and maintenance of newly learned skills. The goal isn’t to turn parents into therapists. It’s to give parents practical, evidence-informed strategies that git into real family life. If you’re looking for behaviour support for your child or guidance implementing new skills at home, because the most meaningful measure of a skill isn’t whether a child can demonstrate it in a teaching session. It’s whether that skill helps them participate more independently in everyday life.

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When Your Body Speaks First: How Physiology, Thoughts, and Avoidance Pull You Away from Your Values

We often frame avoidance as discipline issue; something to fix with better habits, stronger motivation or more willpower. But avoidance isn’t a failure of character. It’s a natural outcome of how your body and mind are wired to protect you.

The problem? That protection system doesn’t always care about your values. It cares about your comfort.

And those two don’t always align.

The body moves first.

Picture yourself about to:

• set a boundary

• start something meaningful but uncertain

• speak honestly in a difficult moment

Before you’ve fully formed a thought, your body is reacting:

• tight chest

• increased heart rate

• restlessness or a pull to disengage

This is your nervous system flagging risk and emotional exposure:

• rejection

• failure

• judgement

• loss of control

Your brain’s job is simple - reduce discomfort and stay safe. Not to help you live in alignment with your values.

Thoughts step in to justify the exit.

Once your body is activated, your thoughts quickly follow:

• “this isn’t the right time.”

• “I don’t want to make things worse.”

• “I’ll deal with this later.”

• “It’s not that important anyway.”

These thoughts feel rational and responsible. But they are often shaped by one goal - get out of discomfort as quickly as possible.

Your mind becomes incredibly persuasive when it’s working on behalf of avoidance.

The escape loop (and why it works so well).

Here’s the pattern most people don’t notice occurring in real time:

1. Trigger - something meaningful but uncomfortable.

2. Physiological activation - anxiety, tension, urge to escape

3. Thoughts - stories that justify delay or withdrawal

4. Avoidance behaviour - procrastination, silence, distraction

5. Relief - immediate drop in discomfort

That last step is reinforcing. The relief reaches your brain that avoidance was the right move. So next time? The urge to avoid shows up faster, stronger, and more convincingly.

When values get lost.

Here’s the part that matters most. Avoidance doesn’t just remove discomfort, it quietly pulls you out of alignment with your values.

Over time, this can look like:

• valuing honesty, but avoiding hard conversations

• valuing growth, but staying in what’s familiar

• valuing connection, but withdrawing when things feel vulnerable

• valuing leadership, but staying silent to avoid conflict

• valuing health, but avoiding the discomfort of behaviour change

This doesn’t occur because you don’t care, but because your nervous system is louder than your intentions in that moment.

The cost of living by comfort instead of values.

Avoidance works in the short term, by giving you relief, space, and temporary control. But over time, the costs compound:

• a growing gap between who you want to be and how you’re showing up

• increased self-doubt (“why didn’t I just do it?!”)

• more sensitivity to discomfort (as it’s rarely faced)

• a shrinking life with fewer risks and meaningful actions

You don’t drift away from your values all at once. It happens in small, repeated moments of choosing comfort over alignment.

From relief-seeking to values-led action.

The goal isn’t to eliminate avoidance entirely, but to notice it sooner and choose differently when it matters.

1. Recognize the moment of choice. That feeling in your body, that urge to delay, scroll, cancel or stay quiet. This is not just discomfort, but a decision point. Do you move away from this feeling…or toward what matters?

2. Make space for the feeling. Trying to get rid discomfort often ends up fueling avoidance. Instead try, noticing the sensation, naming it (anxiety, tension), and letting it be present without immediately acting on it. The goal is not to try to feel better, but to create room to choose better.

3. Hold your thoughts lightly. Your thoughts will attempt to offer an exit strategy. You don’t need to argue with them, simply notice them. “I’m having the thought that this will go badly.” This small shift (cognitive defusion), creates distance between you and the story your thoughts are telling you.

4. Bring values into the moment. Values aren’t abstract ideas; they’re directions for action. Ask yourself, “if I weren’t trying to get rid of this feeling, what would matter right now?”, “What would the version of me who lives my values do here?”. Then take a step, however small, in that direction.

5. Redefine success as acting in alignment with your values even when discomfort is present.

A more honest way to live.

Living your values doesn’t mean you stop feeling anxious, uncertain, or resistant. It means those experiences stop being the decision-makers. Because if you wait to feel ready to act, you’ll end up delaying the conversation, holding back your voice, or staying where it’s safe. However, if you’re willing to feel discomfort, you speak up, you act, you move toward the life you actually want.

Final thought.

Avoidance isn’t the enemy, its a signal that you’re near something meaningful, your body is trying to protect you, and you’re standing at a fork between comfort and values. One path reduces discomfort quickly. The other builds a life that feels like yours. And while you won’t always choose perfectly, each time you do choose your values through discomfort you strengthen a different pattern of behaviour. Once where your life is shaped less by what you feel… and more by what truly matters to you.

Happiness Isn’t Where You’re Going, It’s Where You Are

We’re often taught to treat happiness like a reward. Something you earn after you hit a goal, fix a problem, or become a better version of yourself. It lives just slightly ahead of you - “I’ll feel better when…”. But there’s a slight problem with that model.

Two versions of happiness.

1. Contingent happiness or “I’ll be happy when…” This version depends on outcomes, behaviours, and external circumstances. It is future-focused, conditional and often motivating. But rarely feels satisfying for long.

2. Present moment happiness or mindfulness-based. This version is about being aware of what’s happening right now, making space for both pleasant and unpleasant experiences, and not postponing your life until conditions are ‘perfect’. It’s accessible immediately, but often overlooked because it feels too simple.

Why we get stuck chasing happiness.

Your brain is built to solve problems, not sit in contentment. As a result, you constantly scan for what’s missing, what needs fixing, or what could be wrong. This creates a loop:

• notice discomfort

• set a goal to fix it

• believe happiness comes after the fix

• delay feeling okay until you meet the goal

What happens when you achieve the goal? The mind quickly moves onto the next one, “okay, but now what about this?”. Happiness ends up getting pushed into the future.

The hidden cost of conditional happiness.

There’s nothing wrong with goals, growth, or wanting things to improve, however if your ability to feel okay is dependent on them there may be an issue. Over time, you might experience chronic dissatisfaction, difficulty being present, constant sense of urgency or pressure, or miss meaningful moments because you’re mentally elsewhere.

What mindfulness actually offers.

Mindfulness isn’t about forcing yourself to be happy. It’s about not needing the moment to be different in order to show up in it. This could include enjoying what good while it’s here, allowing discomfort without immediately trying to escape it, or noticing thoughts like “this isn’t enough” without buying into them. Mindfulness shifts the question from “how do I get to happiness?” to “what’s already here, if I pay attention?”

This isn’t about settling.

You might be thinking “if I stop chasing happiness, won’t I lose motivation?” You can still set goals, work toward change, and improve your life, but you’re not longer saying “my life starts when I get there.”

Integration.

This is about changing your relationship to your goals and ambition. Instead of choosing happiness after action, you can notice small moments, experience connection to the world and feel grounded in the present, while you work toward valued goals with feelings of discomfort and uncertainty.

A simple shift to practive.

Next time you catch yourself thinking “I’ll feel better when…” pause and ask yourself “what can I appreciate here right now?”, “What am I missing right now, because I’m focused on what’s next?”

Perhaps you take a moment of calm, have a conversation with a loved one, look at the progress made so far, or even just slowing down your breath. Happiness doesn’t always have to arrive loudly, sometimes it’s just the acceptance of what already is.

Final thought.

Chasing happiness in the future is fine, but if it’s the only place you allow yourself to feel it, you’ll spend most of you time waiting. The conditions for happiness don’t always show up when your goals are met, they show up when you’re present enough to notice.

Tracking Medication Side Effects, Behaviour Change, and Values: A Holistic Approach

Disclaimer: This post is for general information only and is not medical advice. Please consult a qualified healthcare provider for any decisions about medication, side effects, or treatment plans.

When individuals work toward weight-related goals, they often focus on nutrition, movement and routines. And for many, medication also plays a major role; especially those that affect appetite, energy or metabolism.

Understanding how weight loss medications and healthy behaviours interact is important, not only for weight loss, but for medication fading as appropriate.

A behaviour analytic approach to medication management may be to track:

• medication side effects

• behaviour changes,

• personal values and committed actions.

Together, these help create a fuller picture of progress, readiness to change, and behaviour patterns that can help guide medication decisions.

Tracking can help distinguish medication effects from behavioural patterns.

Some medications cause changes in hunger, energy, sleep or fluid retention. Without tracking, one might misattribute these changes to poor motivation or lack of willpower. But when you track both side effects and behaviours, you can see whether

• changes are medication related,

• behaviour changes are working, even if hidden by side effects, or if

• medication fading is realistic right now.

An example.

An individual taking antipsychotics may experience a 4lb. weight increase during dose adjustments, however their behaviour tracking shows

• consistent healthy meals

• daily physical movement, and

• reduced snacking.

Without tracking, they might think they’re not trying hard enough. With tracking, it becomes clear the weight change is pharmacological and not behavioural. This information can keep you from abandoning healthy behaviour patterns, despite side effects that might indicate your healthy habits aren’t working (i.e. weight gain).

Consider that weight loss alone is rarely a motivating value. But when behaviour change goals are connected to personal values, individuals can build the resilience and persistence to carry them through medication adjustments, and continue with healthy habits. Some common values linked to healthy behaviour goals might include:

• remaining active with your children

• improving general long-term health

• maintaining independence

• feeling confident in day-to-day life, or

• increased emotional stability.

Medication fading often requires self-driven, sustainable behaviours or habits, along with strong values that provide the “why” behind your efforts.

An example.

Perhaps a family member preparing to fade off a weight-loss medication, identifies one of their values as “being energized and present with their kids”. This value helps to drive committed actions such as planning balanced meals, taking evening walks after dinner and prioritizing sleep. These behaviours become a stable foundation of sustainable healthy habits while medication is reduced.

Committed Actions Show Readiness for Medication Fading

Committed actions are the specific, observable behaviours that support your values. These actions help determine whether you have the consistency and structure needed to maintain progress as medication doses decrease.

Tracking committed actions helps answer questions related to your value, such as:

• Are you eating regular meals?

• Are you engaging in physical movement you enjoy?

• Are you incorporating mindful coping skills instead of relying on medication only to suppress appetite?

• Are behaviour patterns stable or fluctuating?

An example.

Before tapering a medication to suppress appetite, one practices:

• scheduling meal prep

• engaging in mindful eating skills, and

• a morning routine that incorporates movement and boosts energy

By tracking these actions for several weeks, not only does one build confidence in one’s ability to maintain healthy habits, but this information provides health care providers insightful and valuable data to support decision making.

Tracking Values + Behaviour + Medication Effects Creates a More Accurate Narrative

Instead of a story like: “That medication made me gain weight, I stopped taking it.”

Try tracking:

• medication start and stop dates

• dates of dose changes

• intensity and frequency of side effects

• Behaviours such as meal times, physical activity, sleep, and/or use of coping skills

• Values and Committed Actions (why is this important and how do I demonstrate it)

• and Outcome Data, such as weight, energy or stress levels, hunger cues (to help determine if what you’re doing is working)

Together, these help paint a fuller picture of what’s going on.

Final Thoughts.

Medication is just one part of some weight-loss or health change journeys. And by integrating values, committed actions, and tracking of medication side effects and consistency of behaviours; individuals and health care providers can make informed, compassionate, and sustainable decisions.

Values keep people anchored.

Committed actions demonstrate readiness.

Tracking connects everything to create a coherent story.

Are These Your Values, or Ones You Inherited?

Cultural values are the shared rules, priorities, and reinforcers of the groups we belong to - family, your profession, social media ecosystems, communities and friend circles.

Cultural values are powerful because they are reinforced consistently. Think about what gets rewarded:

• promotions and productivity

• engagements, weddings, and babies

• hustle culture

• “having it together”

Societal values operate through more subtle reinforcement:

• praise

• likes and comments

• belonging; avoidance of judgement

While none of these are inherently wrong, ask yourself this question. “Are they aligned with what genuinely matters to you?”

Personal values are those chosen, not assigned.

Personal values are directional, providing qualities to actions that help define the life you want to express. They sound like:

• curiosity

• playful

• integrity

• compassion

• autonomy

• adventure

• presence

• community

Personal values are not outcomes. Being married isn’t a value, being thin isn’t a value and making six figures is not a value.

Values are how you want to show up, not what you want to collect. Think:

• love

• health

• growth

• security

might be values.

Conflict between personal and cultural values can often show up as:

• success without satisfaction (you hit the milestones, but feel flat, because the milestone is culturally reinforced, not internally chosen).

• chronic guilt (you want less hustle, a nontraditional path, to opt out, to prioritize mental health, but internalized “shoulds” create guilt).

• decision paralysis (external reinforcement competes with internal alignment, resulting in avoidance).

Society reinforces visibility, productivity, and conformity. Your personal values may reinforce rest, autonomy and unconventional living. When reinforcement systems compete, behaviours gets pulled in both directions.

Clarify Personal Values.

Instead of asking, “What should I want?” Try asking yourself:

• “When do I feel most like myself?”

• “What qualities do I admire in others, beyond aesthetics or achievement?”

• “If no one could see my life, what would I still choose?”

• “What would I want my future self to thank me for?”

Notice a shift. Values aren’t about image, but direction.

Living aligned with your personal values may mean:

• earning less - but feeling freer

• saying no - and disappointing someone

• redefining success

• leaving environments

• disappointing your past self

You don’t have to reject cultural values, just choose consciously. You can want partnership and autonomy, or want career growth and a nervous system that is regulated. You can want financial stability and creative expression. But when tension arises, the questions becomes - “which direction do I want my life to move toward?” Not what will get an applause, or avoids criticism, but what feels aligned with who you are.

The next time you feel overwhelmed, ask “am I exhausted from living my values or from performing someone else’s?” The answer will tell you a lot.

Reinforcement at Work: Why Good Intentions Don’t Always Change Behaviour

Most workplace behaviour change efforts tend to fail for one simple reason. We talk about expectations, but rarely do we change the contingencies at play.

You can provide the training, attempt to inspire, and even threaten, but behaviour only changes when the environment makes a different behaviour easier, more valuable or more reinforcing than the old one.

That’s where contingent reinforcement comes in.

What Actually is Reinforcement (and what it isn’t)

In behavioural terms, reinforcement is anything that increases the likelihood of a behaviour happening again.

Reinforcement is not defined by your intention, but by its effect. A bonus that doesn’t change performance? Not a reinforcer. Public praise leads to avoidance? Not a reinforcer.

Flexibility, autonomy, social recognition, reduced effort, and feelings of competency are often powerful reinforcers. In the workplace, these can look like:

• Social reinforcers (recognition, positive feedback, inclusion)

• Tangible reinforcers (pay, perks, exclusive resources)

• Task-Based reinforcers (decreased effort, clearer systems, autonomy)

• Intrinsic reinforcers (mastery, alignment with values, meaning)

Preferred vs. Reinforcing: A Critical Distinction

This is where many leaders get stuck. They think preferred equals reinforcing.

A preferred consequence is something people say they like, such as paper towels over air drying. A reinforcing consequence is something that actually increases behaviour.

For example, an employee says they prefer verbal praise, but behaviour only increases when deadlines are relaxed or workload is reduced. So while praise may be preferred, reduced task demands is the reinforcer.

In the workplace, leaders often overuse:

• verbal recognition

• one-size-fits-all incentives

• end of year rewards

while underestimating:

• immediate feedback

• removal of friction

• predictability and clarity

• feeling effective, and not overwhelmed.

Competing Contingencies: Why Old Behaviour Keeps Winning

If someone knows what to do but doesn’t do it, assume competing contingencies are at play. A competing contingency is when an undesired behaviour is more immediately reinforcing, and the desired behaviour is effortful or results in delayed or inconsistent reinforcement.

Let’s look at some examples:

• you desire an employee to give feedback promptly, but they may avoid discomfort by delaying doing so

• you desire employees to follow a new process, but the older system is faster so employees may continue to engage with the older system

• you desire an increase in employees documenting their work, however they see no immediate payoff to do so

• you want increased participation from employees during meetings, however by remaining silent, employees avoid social risks

People resist change because the environment rewards the old behaviour better.

Changing Behaviour Means Changing Contingencies

If you want behaviour to shift, reinforcement must be:

• immediate

• reliable

• meaning to the person

• easier than the competing behaviour

This requires intentional planning.

How to Change Workplace Contingencies

Step 1.

Define the behaviour precisely and objectively. Avoid vague goals like “be proactive” or “communicate better”. Instead try:

• “Send project updates by Friday 3pm”

• “Provide feedback within 48 hours”

• “Use the new intake form for all future requests”

If you can’t observe it, you can’t reinforce it.

Step 2.

Identify the current reinforcers. Ask:

• What happens right after the current behaviour?

• What discomfort is being avoided?

• What effort is being reduced?

The answers to these questions will help explain why the current behaviour persists.

Step 3.

Identify the competing contingencies. Find out:

• What does the undesired behaviour result in? What is the payoff for the individual?

• What cost does the desired behaviour current have? How much effort does the new behaviour take?

Step 4.

Select reinforcers that employees respond to, not what leadership prefers. Consider:

• Reduced workload later

• Faster approvals

• Autonomy

• Tying behaviours to meaningful outcomes

• Providing skill-building opportunities

Whenever possible, reinforcer early efforts and not just perfect outcomes.

Step 5.

Reduce the cost of the desired behaviour. Sometimes, reinforcement alone might not compete enough. Try:

• Simplifying steps

• Automating reminders

• Removing unnecessary approvals

• Clarifying expectations

• Normalizing imperfect attempts

Remember, lower effort equals a higher probability of desired behaviour.

Step 6.

Deliver reinforcement immediately and consistently, reinforcement loses its power quickly. When possible:

• Weekly beats quarterly

• Specific beats generic

• Predictable beats random

Step 7.

Fade artificial reinforcement and strengthen natural ones. Over time, shift toward reinforcing:

• Mastery

• Efficiency

• Team trust

• Value-aligned outcomes,

to increase sustainability of the desired behaviour.

Final Thought.

Behaviour is often a systems contingency problem, where reinforcement aligns with undesired behaviours. However, when reinforcement does align with the behaviour you want, and competing contingencies are weakened, behaviour change stops leading to power struggles and starts being the path of least resistance. That’s how behaviour actually changes.

Leadership Skills of the Future

Great leadership requires knowing what actions are required for the present context.

With Acceptance and Commitment Training (ACT) leaders can start to…

• interrupt automatic stress responses or unhelpful coping strategies

• pay attention to current context or environment is asking for

• choose actions that are aligned with their leadership values and goals

Present moment awareness and cognitive defusion are two components of ACT that can help anyone experiencing experiential avoidance or have difficulty responding effectively during moments of crisis, build crisis resilience.

Crisis resilience is one’s ability to respond effectively during moments of crisis, even when experiencing discomfort. Like psychological flexibility, where one responds in line with their values even when it may be easier, and/or more reinforcing to not.

The goal is not to eliminate internal states of frustrations, self-doubt, or fear of failure, but to help ensure that these internal states don’t drive behaviour.

So, instead of reacting to unimportant information or historic self-imposed rules such as “I must always have the answer”, leaders gain the ability to respond more effectively to the situation in front of them.

Present moment awareness helps to keep us in the here and now, instead of living in our heads, thinking about the past or future. Remaining present helps to attune to the specific environments and contexts to better respond to expectations, instead of responding to thoughts of the past or future, and current physiological internal states that lead to avoidance.

Second, consider that uncomfortable thoughts and feelings are normal human experiences, and automatic thoughts often come up, such as “I can’t fix this”, “this is impossible”, which usually aren’t helpful. When a leader is fused to their thought “this problem is unsolvable”, they are more likely to stop trying and withdraw.

However a leader who practices defusion recognizes a thoughts as simply a thought, “I’m having the thought that this is unsolvable”. This helps to create space to act more in alignment with values and the current context, rather than acting from an emotional place. A leader who practices cognitive defusion will continue to engage in problem-solving because persistence aligns with their leadership values.

Lemon Exercises

Practice present moment awareness and cognitive defusion to build leadership flexibility.

Present Moment Awareness Exercise:

Imagine cutting open a bright yellow lemon. Then imagine biting into a piece of it. Notice the physical sensations, thoughts, and emotions that you are experiencing. For example, salivation, muscle clenching, thinking “so sour!”. Notice how thoughts (like thinking about a lemon) can create real physical reaction, but they are not commands you need to do anything with.

Cognitive Defusion Exercise:

Try repeating the word ‘lemon’ for 30 seconds. Notice how the meaning of the word fades, and it becomes just a series of sounds. Notice how the words and thoughts (repeating ‘lemon’) lose their emotional impact when we are able to step away from them.

The Bottom Line

By cultivating psychological flexibility, leaders become better equipped to guide their teams through uncertainty, maintain performance under stress and model values-driven behaviours. ACT doesn’t eliminate the stress, it teaches leaders how to lead effectively through it.

Moran, D. J. (2011). ACT for leadership: Using acceptance and commitment training to develop crisis-resilient change managers. The International Journal of Behavioral Consultation and Therapy, 6(4), 341-355. https://doi.org/10.1037/h0100915.

Prudenzi, A., Graham, C. D., Flaxman, P. E., Wilding, S., Day, F., & O’Connor, D. B. (2022). A workplace acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) intervention for improving healthcare staff psychological distress: A randomised controlled trial. PLoS ONE, 17(4). https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0266357.

Leading Through Uncertainty: Using ACT to Build Resilient Teams

In today’s fast-paced workplaces, leaders are facing increasing levels of psychological distress and burnout. These internal states don’t just affect wellbeing, but directly impact employee performance, decision making and overall team outcomes.

Acceptance and Commitment Training (ACT) is an evidence-based process used within organizations to enhance resilience, leadership capacity and workplace performance.

How ACT Works

ACT reduces psychological distress and burnout, through some specific skills:

• Mindfulness Practice

  By learning to stay grounded in the present moment, regardless of internal states, or thoughts. This helps to reduce impulsive decision-making, while supporting more strategic thinking.

• Values-Based Behaviour

  By learning to identify and act according to core values, leaders engage in increased consistency and build confidence to act even in high-pressure situations.

Together, these skills have been shown to reduce symptoms of stress, increase work performance, and reduce workplace errors.

Moran, D. J. (2011). ACT for leadership: Using acceptance and commitment training to develop crisis-resilient change managers. The International Journal of Behavioral Consultation and Therapy., 6(4), 341-355. http://doi.org/10.1037/h0100915.

Prudenzi, A ., Graham, C. D., Flaxman, P. E., Wilding, S., Day, F. & O’Conner, D.B. (2022). A workplace Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) intervention for improving healthcare staff psychological distress: A randomised controlled trial. PLoS ONE 17(4). https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0266357.

Building a Growth Mindset Through Behavioural Skills Training

A growth mindset or belief that one’s abilities and traits can always be developed is essential for personal and professional success.

Growth mindset interventions help individuals see challenges as opportunities to learn rather than threats to their competence.

To be effective, these interventions should identify objective behaviour goals with clear performance criteria (what success looks like and how it will be measured).

To ensure competency when teaching new skills, include:

• an explanation or rationale for the skill, and description of the required behaviours

• a model of the behaviour or skill demonstrated to mastery or expert level (i.e. frequency, accuracy, and fluency)

• opportunities to practice the skill in a safe, supportive environment

• corrective and positive feedback until mastery is observed across multiple opportunities

• Gradually increase difficulty to build confidence and competence

Bottom Line

A growth mindset is a set of behaviours, including setting clear goals, meeting mastery criteria and using behavioural skills training to teach. Organizations that foster a growth mindset build resilience, persistence and continuous improvement within their teams.

Burnette, J.L., Billingsly, J., Banks, G.C., Knouse, L. E., Hoyt, C. L., Pollack, J. M., & Simon, S. (2022). A systematic review and meta-analysis of growth mindset interventions: For whom, how and why might such interventions work? Psychological Bulletin. Advance online publication. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/bul0000368

From Habits to Behaviour Change: Using Nudges to Create Positive Tipping Points

Your behaviour doesn’t happen in isolation. It’s shaped and designed by our environments, learning histories of reinforcement, and social norms.

You can however design your environment to create new norms and shape behaviour change.

Positive Tipping. Occurs when a small number of individuals engage in a new behaviour, which is observed by others. The larger group starts to model the behaviour and social contagion takes hold, increasing conformity through continued modelling and social reinforcement, until the new behaviour becomes the norm.

How to Trigger Positive Tipping Points:

• Implement behavioural nudges, and simple prompts that help make the desired behaviour more accessible.

• Frame participation or adoption of the desired behaviour as an invitation to collaborate, and not an obligation.

• Make the desired behaviour the default option and easier than alternatives.

• Model the desired behaviour as social proof that others are doing it too. People will ask, “Is anyone else doing this?” before they start themselves.

• Pair the desired behaviour with positive consequences. For example, collecting rainwater saves potable water and lowers costs.

Motivation Matters

Behaviour change is difficult because it competes with already established habits and immediate rewards.

Long term benefits often feel distant, while our short term habits are reinforced in the moment.

To help overcome this:

• Tie desired behaviours with your current values and who you want to be.

• Highlight immediate benefits as well as the future long term gains.

• Provide more immediate reinforcement or incentives for the new behaviours.

The Science Behind Habits

Habits form through cue -> behaviour -> reward

• Cue: environmental trigger

• Behaviour: automatic response

• Reward: reinforcement that strengthens the habit

Over time, these habits or behaviours become automatic and difficult to change, however:

• start small, breaking big goals into more manageable steps

• pair desired behaviours with existing habits

• modify environmental cues to disrupt old habits and help support new ones

Examples in Action:

• Fitness wearables provide immediate feedback and reinforcement for healthy behaviours.

• Pairing nutritious foods with preferred flavours helps to make healthy choices more rewarding.

• Text/email reminders help encourage physical activity, helping to boost well being and productivity.

Bottom Line

Behaviour science shows us that small changes can lead to big shifts. Combing habit strategies with behavioural tipping can help

• make desired behaviours easy and rewarding

• connect actions to identity and values

• use modelling and reinforcement to spread change

The results are sustainable habits, and stronger community that align with wellbeing and shared goals.

Akash, M.S., & Chowdhury, S. (2025). Small changes, big impact: A mini review of habit formation and behavioral change principles. World Journal of Advanced Research and Reviews. doi:https://doi.org/10.30574/wjarr.2025.26.101333.

Constantino, S.M. Sparkman, G., Kraft-Todd, G. T., Bicchieri, C., Centola, D., Shell-Duncan, B., Vogt, S. & Weber, E. U. (2022). Scaling up change: a critical review and practical guide to harnessing social norms for climate action. Psychological Science in the Public Interest. doi:10.1177/15291006221105279.

Lenton, T.M., Benson, S., Smith, T., Ewer, T., Lanel, V., Petykowski, E., Power, T. W. R., Abrams, J.F., Blomsma, F., & Sharpe, S. (2022). Operationalising positive tipping points towards global sustainability. Global Sustainability. https://doi.org/10.1017/sus.2021.30.

Verplanken, B. & Orbell, S. (2021). Attitudes, Habits, and Behaviour Change. Annual Review of Psychology. Review in Advance. http://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-psych-020821-011744.

From Stress to Success: How ACT and Performance Feedback Drive Workplace Change

How can organizations supports their employees in managing stress in fast-paced work environments, while improving performance?

Research supports Acceptance and Commitment Training (ACT) and structured performance feedback as a powerful combination.

High stress increases errors, reduces efficiency, and contributes to burnout. All of which lead to reduced productivity.

As stress levels increase, employee technical performance suffers and increased supervision can often feel like heightened pressure to perform, leading employees to engage in avoidance behaviours and disengage from work culture.

Enter ACT.

ACT is not about getting rid of internal discomfort, which leads to avoidance, but about building psychological flexibility. The ability to take actions towards values even when stress, and unhelpful thoughts or feelings show up.

ACT encourages employees to move forward with meaningful goals instead of getting stuck in avoidance patterns.

Verbal and written performance feedback, along with reinforcement, and removal of barriers to performance, has been shown to reduce stress levels in employees, however…including ACT produced even greater and more consistent performance improvements, higher employee engagement and stronger technical skills. Additionally, employees found ACT strategies enjoyable and practical (Pingo et al., 2020).

Why it works.

ACT aims to address the root causes of stress; typically avoidance. By clarifying workplace and personal values, breaking tasks into smaller, more manageable steps, and reinforcing actions aligned with values, employees increase their ability to adapt and thrive, even under pressure.

Bottom line.

While stress is inevitable, it’s impact doesn’t have to be. Combine performance feedback with ACT to create a compelling formula for

• reducing burnout and psychological stress,

• increasing engagement and productivity, and

• driving sustainable behaviour change

Organizations that invest in these strategies don’t just improve employee performance, they help build resilient, value-driven teams ready to thrive.

Paliliunas, D., Belisle, J., & Dixon, M.R. (2018). A randomized control trial to evaluate the use of acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) to increase academic performance and psychological flexibility in graduate students. Behavior Analysis in Practice. doi:https://doi.org/10.1007/s40617-018-0252-x

Pingo, J. C., Dixon, M.R., Paliliunas, D. (2020). An examination of the intervention-enhancing effect of acceptance and commitment therapy-based training on direct service professionals’ performance in the workplace. Behavior Analysis in Practice. https://doi.org/10.1007/s40617-018-00275-9.

Pingo, J. C., Dixon, M. R. & Paliliunas, D. (2020). Intervention enhancing effects of acceptance and commitment training on performance feedback for direct support professional work performance, stress, and job satisfaction. Behavior Analysis in Practice. http://doi.org/10.1007/s-40617-019-00333-w

Prudenzi, A., Graham, C. D., Flaxman, P.E., Wilding, S., Day, F., & O’Connor, D. B.(2022). A workplace acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) intervention for improving healthcare staff psychological distress: A randomized controlled trial. PLoSONE. Doi: https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0266357.

How ACT Builds Resilience, Emotional Regulation, and Value-Aligned Living

We all experience uncomfortable thoughts and feelings, which we often try to control or suppress, through a coping strategy called Experiential Avoidance (EA).

EA is linked to a variety of psychological and behavioural difficulties, despite offering short term relief, leading to potentially harmful long term consequences.

Typically individuals will engage in EA to escape or control negative internal states or experiences (thoughts, emotions, memories), leading to the development of common coping patterns such as substance use, social withdrawal, and risky behaviours. Frequent engagement in EA is associated with PTSD, increased hospital visits, depression, increased school dropouts and an overall decrease in quality of life.

Combined with environmental stressors such as grief, pain, racism or violence, EA can exacerbate psychological or behavioural difficulties.

Psychological Flexibility

Psychological flexibility is the capacity to engage with difficult internal experiences while still acting in alignment with your values.

Lack of psychological flexibility means we become fused with our thoughts, such as “This is my fault”, “I’m not good enough,” and we regularly engage in EA coping strategies that help us avoid or escape these unpleasant thoughts and associated feelings.

These patterns of - trigger -> unpleasant thought -> escape/avoidance behaviour - is shaped by our own individual histories of reinforcement, operant conditioning and modelling, which teach us how to interpret and respond to emotions.

While these patterns of responding may feel protective, they often lead to more distress and disconnection from what matters most.

The ACT Approach

Acceptance and Commitment Training (ACT) provides an alternative path. Instead of fighting discomfort, we learn to accept thoughts and feelings as they come. The goal is to notice them without judgement, and make the choice to take action aligned with our values.

Key processes include:

• Acceptance. A willingness to experience psychological discomfort, when choosing a value-aligned action.

• Defusion. Creating distance from thoughts; observing them rather than identifying with them.

  • Fusion: “I am a bad person”

  • Defusion: “I am having the thought that I’m a bad person”.

  This simple shift helps to reduce judgement and see thoughts as just thoughts, not facts.

• Mindfulness (Present Moment Awareness). Instead of arguing with thoughts and telling ourselves stories about the past or future, mindfulness brings attention back to the here and now. By practicing noticing exercises and engaging in the present, we help reduce EA and reinforce more adaptive coping.

• Values. Clarify what truly matters to you and develop meaningful, objective, measurable and realistic goals.

• Committed Action. Taking objective steps towards your values, even when it’s uncomfortable.

Why it Matters

ACT not only helps reduce EA, it helps to increase emotional regulation, resulting in decreased defensiveness, and improved communication in relationships (Nallepalli & Murugesan, 2025).

Using ACT also helps you to recognize the emotional distress of making the hard choices to live according to your values.

The practice of acceptance, defusion and mindfulness helps to decrease negative thoughts, improve resilience and foster a life that is aligned with what matters most.

Bottom Line

EA keeps us stuck and ACT helps us move forward. By accepting the discomfort, defusing from unhelpful thoughts, practicing mindfulness and taking committed action toward what matters most, we move towards better mental health, stronger resilience and a life aligned with your values.

Belisle, J. & Dixon, M.R. (2022). Relational behavior and ACT: a Dynamic Relationship. Behavior Analysis in Practice. https://doi.org/10.1007/s40617-021-00599-z

Biglan, A., Hayes, S. C., & Pistorello, J. (2008). Acceptance and commitment: Implications for Preventative Science. Preventative Science. doi:10.1007/s11121-008-0099-4

Nallepalli, V. & Murugesan, K. S. (2025). Enhancing marital resilience through psychological flexibility: An acceptance and committment therapy-based case study. IAPS Journal of Practice in Mental Health. doi:10.4103/IJPMH.IJPMH_6_25